Want to vent your spleen about the second-most isolated capital city in the world? Then write a letter to The West, but if they don’t print it you can send it it to us and in all probability we’ll put it up.
Perthetic
Around The Traps In Western Australia’s Crapital City
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‘Write a letter to the West’? – can those guys read?
Why international bands don’t come to Perth
Heard on the grapevine this morning about Matchbox 20 concert at the Burswood Dome. Now I have travelled past this ancient monument in recent times, and it really looks like a shit hole. I thought it had closed, but no, it appears that it is the show piece of Perth’s entertainment community. And they charge top dollar to concertites to see their favourite bands: $130 per head for seats from which you can’t see a bloody thing.
All the A list seats are on a single level, and everyone stands up as soon as the band starts so the ones who are more than three rows back can see bugger all.
That’s not the worst of it.
Matchbox 20 played for 2 hours, the first hour and a half to a stone cold audience. Once the crowd got warmed up, things were fine and dandy and rocking. But then, as the band prepared to play their encore, they discovered that the ‘crowd’ had dwindled to a die hard bunch who weren’t bothered about the three hour wait to get out of the bloody car park. The band were perplexed by the mass exodus (they obviously were not at Subiaco Oval for the last Dockers game, but maybe the crowd had the right idea then, and it wasn’t a car parking issue. After checking out what was left of the audience, M20 decided that an encore was a waste of time, and they went home too.
They are probably, at this moment, telling their tale to their mates in band land, ending their story with – for fucks sake don’t go to Perth.
Now THAT’s Perthetic in its truest form.
Mouth from the South
In what seemed like a calculated plot to completely demolish an otherwise disastrous weekend, the Australind train under-performed to its usual standard, and one of its passengers gave me several great reasons never to take public transport again.
Obviously a follower of the ‘bigger is better’ school of nutrition, the vastly overweight pre-teen insisted on getting his money’s worth from his carb-loaded pre-trip snack, and recounting each hideous mouthful to weary passengers in two carriages, and in a voice that would shatter glass.
Worse, I had the window seat, and he wanted the scenic view, even though it was way past sunset. It was a close encounter of the entirely undesirable kind.
It was enough to send me to the bar, which of course was closed.
However, revenge was as sweet as the lollies he had been intent on stuffing himself with, as when the train broke down, so did the pudgy one, bawling his eyes out during the whole 2 hour delay to our arrival in Bunbury.
Perthetic has been strangely quiet on the subject of the Olympics
Can it be that they dont give a fack
Or are they saving themselves for a special three week retrospective
C’mon Perthetic, get your act together
We can’t wait……….